Do you know strict parents or a strict parent – parents who are strict with their children? Many parents do, but might not understand why strict parents choose to use such strict parenting practices with their child.
It might seem like strict parents do not show much affection or love to their children compared to other parenting styles, but peer reviewed studies show that strict parenting does have its place in supporting parental control and parental authority. However, it must be balanced, as sometimes, strict parents can cross the line and become abusive instead of strict, resulting in antisocial behavior.
Introduction to Strict parenting
Setting boundaries and strict rules is no easy task. Parents are often unsure of how to set boundaries with their children in a way that will make them feel respected and listened to, but it is possible and produces kids with better behaviour and avoids potentially dangerous situations. Parents should try to use the same principles they teach their kids when setting up rules for themselves, leading by example with their own behavior and role modelling self discipline.
The best way for parents to go about setting boundaries to help your children learn is by having an open conversation with their child. Explain why they need this boundary in place, talk about respect, feelings and any punishment if the wrong decision or act is made – and of course then following through on any consequences if necessary.
The strict parents guide to setting boundaries blog post will provide you with some information you will need regarding how exactly you can establish healthy family dynamics while also keeping your sanity intact!
Here are a few benefits of strict parenting
For one thing, Authoritative parents using stricter rules lead to better behaviour in children than having no rules at all such as with permissive parents (https://iflydad.com/permissive-parenting/) . This is because they feel as though their authority is being challenged when there are no clear boundaries, causing them to misbehave more often. With rules that must be followed without question comes less discipline problems down the track;
- Learning to set limits, boundaries and age appropriate expectations with kids is important for their development and parental legitimacy.
- Boundaries help kids learn to take responsibility and be accountable, resulting in better behaved kids that can self regulate.
- You should set boundaries that you are comfortable with and that work for your family.
- Children raised with boundaries respond best when this is consistently enforced; for example, if you don’t want to allow your child to eat sugar before bedtime, then enforce this boundary consistently.
- Boundaries can include things like TV time, video games, food or the number of friends they can have over at one time.
- Setting clear boundaries will make it easier on everyone in the long-run because there won’t be any confusion about what’s expected from them.
Negative aspects of strict parenting
Strict authoritarian parenting isn’t the be all and end all of parenting. There can be some major negative aspects of strict parenting if it is too extreme, which can lead to poor family dynamics and less than ideal childhood development outcomes.
- Super strict parents could come across as mean and uncaring if they are too authoritative, have too high expectations, set too many strict household rules and enforce harsh discipline or harsh punishments.
- The strict parenting style can lead to a ‘me vs them’ mentality in a parent child relationship.
- Being too strict with your child and setting too many rules might cause them to lose trust in you – Remember that it’s important for your children to know that you love them, especially when setting boundaries with them is necessary.
- Children respond better when parents are warm and loving towards them, while still being firm in their discipline methods. Being overly strict can jeopardise this.
- Being too strict (especially excess punitive discipline) may cause kids to rebel and to disrespect authority in general when children reach adolescence, which can lead down a dangerous path in the future and antisocial behaviour or delinquent behaviour.
- Excessively strict parenting with no flexibility can lead to kids raised with lower self esteem and poor judgement issues – resulting in shyness or poor decision making.
- Family studies show that children that see a significant difference between your strict parenting style and the parenting style used with other kids at school can create a feeling of injustice and resentment, leading to child disruptive behavior problems at home and at school and causing them to act out and ironically have more behavioral problems.
Strict parenting summary
Setting boundaries with your kids is an important part of their development. Boundaries help children in learning respect, staying out of trouble, taking responsibility and being accountable for themselves by following the rules you set in place.
You should think about what type of boundaries work best for your family, so they are practical and fit into your lifestyle. For example, if you don’t want your child eating sugar before bedtime, enforce this boundary consistently to teach them that there are consequences when they break curfew or stay up past their allotted time without permission from a parent. Non-negotiable household policies like these will make it easier on everyone in the long-run because there won’t be any confusion about what’s expected out of each member of the household.
However, being too strict with no flexibility can restrict child development and lead to negative outcomes such as strained relationships, poor social development, low self esteem, lack of trust, rebellion (to question authority), behavioral problems and poor decision making. As with everything parenting, there is always a sweet spot and the trick is finding the right balance for your family – you can always Check out if you are too strict of a parent here
If she is having a baby or you’re ready to learn about other parenting styles for educational purposes, make sure to check out the other parenting styles and see what resonates with you. I have reviewed a bunch of resources and programs for parents such as the circle of security here
